I live in a portrait of my own
I sing in the mornings, and at night
and sometimes in the day, and in my sleep,
and while I shower, when I’m sad, and tears are all I have
inside my soul.
You called for me
You saw dreaming in my eyes
You all said I was the one.
The one that they would want
The one, you all would want.
the one who could be best.
I didn’t need the best,
perhaps just a little better than the rest
maybe thats why I have always felt alone.
Just a little.
Stars hang around my shoulders.
sometimes they feel heavy
they tell me they are cold and sometimes I whisper to them
that I am sad.
Even when I am full floating in the clearest of the skies
the world can only see half of who I am.
and half of who I am supposed to be
The rest of the world has always looked so far away.
Craters plucked through my wholesome body, eat out my middle
But I am not to be eaten
I am not to be enjoyed
I am to be loved.
But not by everyone
Just by someone
is it so wrong to crave the hearts of others?
is it wrong to want the worship of their hands.
Sometimes I am crescent, just for them
I know they like it so.
I can see the reflection of myself in their eyes
as they glare at me through telescopic looking glasses.
awaiting my every flinch
asking for my every breathing detail.
I, like some god who beckons sweet wishes from the sky
Strike lightning, whilst I stroke the thunderous lips of the far away planets
that hide in the corners of the universe
so far you could never reach them.
So far, that sometimes i am not sure they are even there.
Darker still they laugh in clouds of candy kisses
and make you smile, bigger grins of infamous joy
until you are a slither of cheese.
Since when was I made from anything but myself?
Was it you that did that to me?
Why did you tell them that?
You hold my back whilst I light streets strutting on shoes as tall as s scrapers
So long as they are taller than yours I think.
I am frightful that when you - the sun, hide behind this heavy rainfall
I might not shine anymore
with out you I may be no more than a reflection
of dollar signs and bleach brave arrogance
beside the stars,
the people might not see me so well.
You ask me: do I want that?
I need you. Thats what you say.
But you want me because I am free
You need me because I am more than you
I am something you can not understand
bewilder at my eyes
and wander around my feet asking
What happens inside my mind.
with out you I may be darker
I may feel heavy in the day
I may not shine out of the papers
and glisten like a pop preen princess of the galaxy
I may be further from this world
I may not stand brighter than any other in the darkness of the skies
But I will still be here
And I will be free.